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School and transgender children

School is not a gender clinic. And yet some schools in practice behave as if it were: by actively "affirming" pupils in a new gender identity, with a different name, pronouns and changing-room use — and in a growing number of cases without parents being aware. This is not a minor detail of inclusivity policy. It bears directly on the protection of minors and on parental authority.

The primary mission of a school: teaching and safety

Schools are there to educate children and to ensure their safety. That includes: counteracting bullying, promoting respectful conduct, making room for children who deviate from a norm. It does not include: going along without parental consent with a psychosocial intervention of which even the thorough Cass Review (2024) says that it is not a neutral step. See Social transition in children and Cass Review.

"Affirm-without-parents": a growing problem

In the Netherlands — and to a comparable extent in other Western countries — it occurs that a school addresses a pupil on request by a different name and different pronouns, lets the pupil change clothes accordingly, and in some cases deliberately does not inform parents "to protect the pupil". This policy is sometimes explicitly laid down in protocols or taken over from COC or Transvisie material.

For parents this is an undermining of their authority and of their duty of care. A school professional may be well-intentioned, but is not ultimately responsible for the psychological and physical development of a minor — the parents are. A school that structurally bypasses parents makes the child the stake of a conflict the child cannot oversee, and puts the child in a loyalty conflict it cannot pass on to anyone.

What does the law say?

In the Netherlands parents are legally the primary responsible parties for minors up to age 16. Schools may not simply discuss matters concerning the child with third parties without parental knowledge, let alone facilitate irreversible social interventions. The fact that schools follow deviating lines in practice is not a valid justification, but rather a reason for legal concern. Parents can hold them to account: in writing, with access to files, with complaint procedures, and if necessary with legal aid.

Toilets, changing rooms and PE lessons

When schools admit biological boys into girls' changing rooms — whether on the basis of self-declared gender identity or not — a new problem arises: the privacy and safety of all pupils, not only the trans-identifying pupil. In international case law and increasingly also in Dutch policy discussions it is recognised that the solution does not lie in abolishing sex separation, but in offering a neutral third option (individual toilet, changing cubicle) without abolishing the existing arrangement. See also Sport and transgender youth.

Teaching about gender at school

Citizenship education is indispensable — but that is something different from adopting activist narratives undiluted. Lesson material that teaches children that "anyone can experience being a different sex from the one established at birth", that gender identity is separate from the body, or that "there are more than two sexes", is not neutral science but an ideological position. Schools do well to also present the scientific discussion — Cass Review, SBU, COHERE, policy revisions in Scandinavia — on this topic, and not only the message of advocacy organisations.

What parents can do

Request the school's policy around gender and transgender pupils. Ask explicitly whether the school has agreements about informing parents. Discuss it with the mentor, and escalate to management or the board if necessary. Connect with other parents. Insist that every conversation about your child goes through you — not "just to be sure", but because legally and morally it has to.