Clinical psychologist Joe Burgo: why boys today are given no room to become men

What makes a growing number of adolescent boys and young men no longer feel at home in their own bodies, yet feel at home in a transgender identity? American clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Joe Burgo, who works almost exclusively with trans-identified men, men who have detransitioned, and men struggling with autogynephilia, shared his perspective in an open conversation with writer Sarah Mittermaier. His conclusion: our culture no longer offers boys anything that helps them grow into adult men, and gender has stepped into that void.

A culture that no longer teaches boys anything

According to Burgo, boys grow up with the idea that gender is entirely learned — that boys and girls are essentially the same and differ only as a result of upbringing. In his view, this belief has become deeply entrenched in schools and healthcare: in 2018, the American Psychological Association (APA) published guidelines that largely portray masculinity as harmful. The result is that boys entering puberty and experiencing the effects of testosterone firsthand — greater aggression, a stronger sex drive, risk-taking — learn that these changes are wrong or dangerous. While earlier generations still had rituals, sports, or boys' clubs to give that energy a place, Burgo says those outlets have largely disappeared or become co-ed. Little remains to teach boys how to channel their emerging strength rather than suppress it.

Shame about their own bodies

In his practice, Burgo sees a recurring pattern: boys who feel deeply uncomfortable with their own sexual arousal, spontaneous erections, and the simple fact that they are attracted to girls. They are afraid of being seen as "creepy" or "crossing boundaries," and some even ask for estrogen to get rid of spontaneous erections. For boys who already fall outside the social hierarchy of "alpha males" — awkward, withdrawn, and unsuccessful with girls — the prospect of living on as a girl can become appealing: an escape from a body and a sexuality that their surroundings constantly make them feel guilty about.

Two dead ends

Mittermaier summarizes it aptly in the conversation: boys are offered two dysfunctional templates. Either they reject the judgment directed at masculinity and radicalize toward figures such as Andrew Tate, or they reject themselves and, with that, the entire idea that they might ever become men. Burgo stresses that this is not a matter of one isolated cause: among boys with sudden-onset, late-emerging gender dysphoria at puberty (ROGD), he often sees a combination of social awkwardness, excessive use of gaming and pornography, and growing alienation from their own bodies. Gender then suddenly offers, in his words, "a way out" — an explanation and an identity that removes the discomfort without addressing the underlying struggle.

What this means for the broader debate

Burgo's analysis aligns with a growing group of clinicians who do not want to view gender dysphoria in boys separately from broader developments: the disappearance of male role models, retreat into screen time, and a culture that tends to problematize masculinity rather than guide it. His argument is not that boys should be forced back into an outdated mold, but that they do need something to grow toward: a mature, responsible form of masculinity, rather than merely a list of things they are not allowed to be. A Jungian perspective on gender ideology is presented in the article The Eternal Boy.