School and Transgender Children
School is not a gender clinic. And yet some schools behave that way in practice: by actively 'affirming' students in a new gender identity, with a different name, pronouns and changing-room access — and sometimes without their parents knowing. In England, the Cass Review heard from many parents that their child had been socially transitioned and affirmed in the chosen gender identity without their involvement (para. 12.16; source). This is not a minor detail of inclusivity policy. It directly concerns the protection of minors and parental authority.
The main article on this subject is Gender at school.
A school's primary task: teaching and safety
Schools exist to educate children and safeguard their safety. This includes combating bullying, promoting respectful interaction and making room for children who differ from a norm. It does not include going along, without parental involvement, with a step that the Cass Review (2024) says should be seen within the NHS as an active intervention, because it can have significant effects on psychological functioning and on longer-term outcomes (para. 12.5; source). See Social transition in children and Cass Review.
Affirming without the parents
It happens that a school addresses a student at their request by a different name and different pronouns, without the parents being involved. The Cass Review notes as background that the student often comes out at school but is worried about the parents' reaction (para. 12.16). According to the report, parents should be actively involved in decision-making, unless there are strong grounds to believe that this would put the child at risk (para. 12.36; source). In the United States, this practice is provoking a backlash: a school district requires staff to always report a student's social transition to the parents, and a mother sued a school over secret gender policies.
For parents, this undermines their authority and duty of care. A school professional may have good intentions, but is not ultimately responsible for a minor's psychological and physical development — the parents are. A school that systematically bypasses parents makes the child the subject of a conflict the child cannot comprehend, and places that child in a loyalty conflict that they cannot shift onto anyone else.
What does the law say?
In the Netherlands, minors are under the authority of their parents. Parental authority includes the right and the duty of parents to care for and raise their child, including care for their mental and physical well-being (articles 1:245 and 1:247 of the Dutch Civil Code). Parents can ask the school in writing about its policy, use the complaints procedure and, if necessary, seek legal assistance.
Toilets, changing rooms and physical education
When schools allow biological boys into girls' changing rooms — whether or not on the basis of a self-declared gender identity — a new problem arises: the privacy and safety of all students, not only that of the transgender-identifying student. One possible solution is a neutral third option (an individual toilet or changing cubicle) alongside the existing arrangement. UvA research shows that young people support equality in principle, but are critical of gender-neutral toilets. See also Sport and transgender young people.
Education about gender at school
Citizenship education is indispensable — but that is something different from adopting activist narratives without qualification. Teaching materials that tell children that 'everyone can experience being a different sex from the one assigned at birth', that gender identity is separate from the body, or that 'there are more than two sexes', do not represent neutral science but an ideological position. In Australia, teaching materials removed sex from biology lessons and called this inclusive. The role of gender in the lessons of the Week of Spring Fever, and the terms used in them, has been examined at lente-kriebels.nl. Schools would do well to present the scientific debate on this subject as well — the Cass Review, SBU, COHERE and policy revisions in Scandinavia — rather than only the message of advocacy organisations.
What parents can do
Request the school's policy on gender and transgender students. Explicitly ask whether the school has arrangements for informing parents. Discuss the matter with the form tutor, and escalate it to the school leadership or board if necessary. Join forces with other parents. The rights parents have regarding the school's gender policy, from the right to information to participation rights, are set out at genderopschool.nl. Insist that every conversation about your child goes through you, also because the Cass Review wants parents to be actively involved in decision-making.